Why we put things off, and a smaller way to start

Putting things off usually isn't laziness. It's often a way to avoid an uncomfortable feeling, like boredom, worry or the fear of doing it badly, and it works for a few minutes before the task comes back heavier. What helps is making the first step small and specific, planning when you'll do it, and noticing that starting is usually less painful than you predicted.

Why do I keep putting things off?

The tax form has been on the table for three weeks. The email you need to send is still in drafts. You meant to start the essay on Monday; it's now Thursday. You know it needs doing, you know it'll only get worse, and you still find yourself tidying the kitchen, checking your phone or doing anything else.

Most people do this sometimes, and it's easy to blame it on laziness. Researchers who study procrastination describe something different. Putting things off is often a way to manage how we feel right now. The task brings up something uncomfortable, such as boredom, confusion, worry about doing it badly, or dread about what you'll find, and avoiding it makes that feeling go away for a while.

The trouble is that the relief is short. The task is still there, now with less time, plus a layer of guilt and stress. Next time you think about it, it feels even heavier, and the urge to avoid it grows.

What thoughts make tasks feel bigger?

The way we think about a task changes how hard it feels to start. Two thinking traps are especially common.

All-or-nothing thinking turns the task into one huge block: "I have to do the whole report." If you can't do all of it now, it feels pointless to start. It can also show up as perfectionism: "If I can't do it really well, there's no point."

Should statements pile on pressure: "I should have done this ages ago." "I should be able to just get on with it." They're meant to motivate, but they usually add guilt, which makes the task even less appealing.

Noticing these thoughts doesn't make the task disappear. But it can help you see that some of the weight comes from the thoughts, not the task.

How do I make starting easier?

The most helpful change is usually to shrink the first step until it feels almost too easy, and to give it a time and a place.

Choose the task, or the part of your life it belongs to. "Sorting out my finances."
Pick one small thing. Not "do my taxes" but "find last year's form and put it on the desk". If even that feels hard, make it smaller.
Choose a time. "Tuesday at 7pm, after dinner." A specific time is much easier to keep than "sometime this week".
Guess how it will go. How hard will it be, and how will you feel afterwards? Rate it from 0 to 10.
Do it, then note how it went. Compare it with your guess.

The activity scheduling exercise helps you plan small steps like this and look back on how they went.

What does it look like in practice?

Here's a made-up example. Aisha has been putting off replying to a difficult email from her landlord for two weeks.

The task: "Reply to the landlord about the repairs."
What I've been telling myself: "I need to write the perfect reply. I should have done it already."
Small step: "Open the email and write three bullet points about what I want to say. Nothing more."
When: "Wednesday, 8pm, at the kitchen table, with a cup of tea."
My guess: "It'll be awful. Difficulty 8 out of 10."
What happened: "It took ten minutes. Writing the bullet points made the reply obvious, and I sent it the same evening. Difficulty about 4."

Starting often turns out to be the hardest part. Once you're moving, the task tends to feel more manageable than it did from a distance.

How do I test my prediction that it'll be awful?

"It'll be awful" is a prediction, and you can test it. Each time you do a small step, write down how bad you expected it to be and how bad it was. After a few tries, many people notice the same pattern: the dread beforehand is worse than the doing.

That's the idea behind a behavioural experiment: write down what you expect, try it, and compare. A few examples of your own can make the next start a little easier.

What else can help?

Make it easier to start than to avoid. Put the form on the desk, open the document, leave your running shoes by the door.
Use a short timer. "I'll work on this for ten minutes, then decide whether to carry on." Often you'll carry on.
Remove one distraction. Put your phone in another room for the ten minutes.
Be kind about the past. Telling yourself off for the weeks you've lost tends to make starting harder. "I'm starting now" is enough.

Is it different when I feel low?

When mood is low, energy and motivation often drop first, and everything can feel like too much. In that case, waiting until you feel like doing something rarely works. Doing a small thing first and letting the feeling follow is often more realistic. Keep the steps even smaller than usual, and count each one.

When should I talk to someone?

If you're putting off almost everything, if it's affecting your work, studies or finances, or if you feel low, flat or hopeless most days, please talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. If you're in danger now, call your local emergency number.