Thought work
Self-compassion break: three steps for a hard moment
When something hurts, many of us push harder or tell ourselves off. A self-compassion break does three things instead: it notices that this is a hard moment, remembers that other people go through moments like it, and says something kind to yourself. It takes a couple of minutes and is part of the self-compassion program in ThinkGO.
At a glance
| Time | 2–3 min |
|---|---|
| Best for | Being hard on myself and Guilt & self-blame |
| Level | Starter. A good first exercise. |
How to do it, step by step
- Write what's hard right nowA sentence or two is enough.
- Rate how much it hurtsFrom 0 (not at all) to 100.
- Name the feeling kindlyThe way a kind friend would put it.
- Remember you're not the only oneWho else might feel this way in a moment like this?
- Write what you'd say to a friendThen say it to yourself.
- Rate againNotice whether it hurts a little less.
Self-compassion break example: after snapping at someone
- What's hard
- I snapped at my sister and I keep going over it.
- Hurts
- 70
- Feeling
- “This is a painful moment. I feel ashamed and tired.”
- Not the only one
- Anyone who cares about their family and has a bad day.
- To myself
- “You're tired and you care about her. You can say sorry tomorrow.”
- Hurts now
- 45
Example only. The numbers are illustrative, not typical results.
Tips and common snags
Kind isn't the same as letting yourself off
You can be warm with yourself and still decide to put something right.
Use your own words
A sentence in your voice is easier to believe.
It may feel strange at first
That's common. It tends to get easier with practice.
In ThinkGO
Self-compassion break, one question at a time
- One question per screen
- Drafts saved on every change
- Your before and after ratings, side by side
- Reminders, if you want them
Coming to the App Store in January 2027
Sources
- Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.
- Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion. William Morrow.
- Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind. Constable.